It has been a while since my last newsletter.
I went quiet for some time, but I was not absent. Life was moving strongly, and so was I. This season asked me to organize, reshape, and restate many things. It also asked me to take better care of my body, to listen more closely, and to be honest about the doubts that were also present in the background.
A lot was happening at once. There was hard work. There were inner questions about my work. There were moments of uncertainty, and moments when fear started knocking again, especially while watching what is happening in the world and feeling how much instability is around us. Even when we know our path, it does not mean we stop being human. Doubt can still visit. Fear can still try to enter.
In the middle of all this, I traveled with my son to Thailand as a gift for his eighteenth birthday. It was an amazing experience. It gave me rest, distance, and a real break from daily life. Thailand gave us beautiful food, warmth, a different rhythm, and space to disconnect. I stepped away from social media, even if in some ways the work never fully stops. Still, it was a real kind of holiday. A different kind of presence. A chance to be with family in a way that did not drain me, but nourished me.
That matters to me.
It is one more proof that the work we do on ourselves changes how we live. Not only in ceremonies, not only in insight, not only in words, but in very practical things. In how we travel. In how much energy we lose. In how much we can actually enjoy life while living it.
This period also brought me back to very simple practices. Daily cleansing. Daily manifestation. Daily care. Not as a performance. Not as spirituality for show. Just as a way to return to myself every day. I also signed up for the gym, came back to yoga, and put real focus on my back and on physical recovery. More and more, I see that the body cannot be left behind while the soul is trying to move forward.
Recently I also attended another ayahuasca retreat, and I wrote a little about it already. This one turned me upside down in a very different way. It was not the usual kind of experience. There were no clear visions, no beautiful certainty, no immediate understanding. It was more difficult, more stripped, more disorienting. At the time, I did not fully understand it. Now I see that it was part of my recovery too. Not everything comes to lift us in the way we expect. Some things come to empty us, slow us down, and bring us back to ground. You can read more about it in my recent post: Ayahuasca Ceremony Experience: What Words Cannot Hold
And slowly, I am recovering.
I have started writing again. I finalized the cover and design of my book in Polish. The Spanish version is also ahead of me. I am close to closing this chapter of publishing more fully in English and Polish, and I have also started working on my Polish website. Alongside that, I feel more and more drawn to prepare a free Chinese medicine diagnostic offering, because I genuinely love looking at people in this way and helping them understand what their body may be saying.
When I look back, I see that it has been a lot.
I was quiet, but I was not absent.
I was inside the changes.
And maybe this is also what I want to leave you with today.
If you are in a moment of doubt, do not rush to call it failure. If you need to step back, step back. But do not give up on yourself. Rest if you need to. Recover if you need to. Do what life is asking from you now, even if it does not look impressive from the outside.
The direction is there.
But the work is ours.
Little by little, through small honest steps, we return to presence. We return to coherence. We return to what is real in us. Every human being carries something unique. A talent. A truth. A way of being that cannot be replaced by anyone else. But to live it, we often have to stop running long enough to hear it.
So this is what I wish for you.
That you give yourself permission to rest without guilt.
That you do not confuse silence with being lost.
That you trust that life may still be guiding you, even in moments when nothing feels clear.
And that step by step, you allow yourself to become more of who you really are.
Thank you for being here.
Pawel
